USE TIME-OUT AS COMFORT TIME
Time-out is a technique used to remove a child away from others for a short period of time. Time-out should never be used as a punishment, to shame the child, or label the child as “naughty” or “bad”.
Time-outs should be used when a child’s behavior is so disruptive that it cannot be ignored. There are times when a child becomes so out of control that they are throwing objects, kicking, hitting, biting and they cannot accept comfort and in fact, the more you try to soothe the child, the more out of control she gets.
It should also be used it the angry child is trying to hurt another child or hurt themselves.
CREATE A QUIET PLACE
In your childcare environment, create a safe, cozy space where a child can learn to control their emotions. Talk to the children and show them the quiet place. Explain to them, in advance of an out- of-control situation that this is where they can go when they feel they are losing control and need a break.
When a child becomes out of control, especially if they are kicking and hitting you, calmly take them to the quiet place and let them know you are going back to the other children and he can join you as soon as he calms himself.
KEEP YOUR EXPECTATIONS DEVELOPEMENTALLY APPROPRIATE
Children under 3 years old have not developed the ability to reflect on their own actions. Therefore, your goal in bring the child to a quiet place is to provide them with a place that they can move from being highly agitated to becoming calm. Do not try to reason with the child when they are in this agitated state, they simply cannot learn when emotional charged.
Children by the time they are four or five can reason the negative consequences of their behavior. Discuss with the child, after they have calmed down, how they could handle things differently.
HOW LONG SHOULD A CHILD BE LEFT IN TIME-OUT
In a short amount of time, no more than (3-5 minutes), check to see if the child has comforted themself and is in control, encourage the child to come back to the group. If the child is still upset, but not out of control you may be able to comfort the child and help her move back into the group. Do not give in to what originally caused the tantrum, but suggest the child do an alternative activity.
For example: the child has a temper tantrum because she wants to ride on a ride -around toy being used by another child. When she has calmed down suggest that she build a castle in the sand box. You may even want to offer to help her.
These time-outs or comfort breaks can be a useful tool to helping a young child learn to cope with their strong emotions. The important thing to remember is, when a child is exhibiting strong emotions it means that the child is having a hard time coping with her emotions and frustrations. They are not purposefully misbehaving; they are just reacting. Their intense emotions—and limited skills in self-regulation—sometimes cause them to lose control over their minds and bodies.
The way you handle time-out or comfort time will determine how success this tool is. Giving the child a short break and the opportunity to self-regulate their behavior works if it is handled calmly, lovingly, and in a nonjudgmental way.
Resources
PBS Parents